Friday, October 7, 2016

Poor Man's Korean Bar-Bee-Cue [Part 1]

What?


Cue the Pork...!

Wh...


HOLD ON. WHAT KIND OF PORK!?

Oh uhhh, right. I guess I'll get more specific for you then. 

Depending on your budget, you might not be able to afford the cuts of meat that is used in all Korean barbecue recipes. 

Parts of the pig like flank steak, skirt steak, rib eye steak, and brisket can cost well over what you can afford. But does that mean you shouldn't have access to one of the world's godliest of foods? Maybe, because you are not worthy. At this point, I sincerely urge you to stop reading here, pack your bags, and go see a psychiatrist immediately because you need an ego of a confident 4foot man to eat this food. 

But for those of you who think you are worthy, keep reading. 

Alternative cuts to expensive cuts of pork (cheapest first):
  • Shoulder (bone-in)
  • Loin
  • Belly
  • Rib
Now the one downside that isn't really a downside in this instance with bone-in pork shoulder is that it is a tougher cut of meat. WAIT, DON'T BE SCARED OF IT. IT TASTES JUST AS GOOD.

The tough meat ISN'T a problem because, with the way this recipe is going to develop, the moist cooking method will make it tender to consume. And where does the moistness come from? The marinade of course! You silly goof! 

Enough with the flesshon, on to the ingreeds:

  • Pork shoulder [x1 lbs]
  • Gochujang [x5 tbsp]
  • Hot and tasty nice flavour pepper flakes [x5/2 tbsp]
  • Honey
  • Garlic [x5 cloves]
  • Butter [x1 tbsp]

Where?


You should know by now...

Why?


Who wants to spend $ $ bills on KBBQ that you have to leave the house for when you can have it in the comfort of your own home?


Actually, I would.

When?


  1. Learn how to predict the future
  2. Figure out when you want to eat KBBQ
  3. Subtract 2-3 days
  4. Make it today
OR
  1. Learn how to time travel
  2. Today - 2day = 0 
Wait, shit, that's not right... Let me look at my notes... Ahh yes, let me start over.
  1. Learn how to time travel
  2. Today - 2 days = Day before yesterday (There we goooo!)
  3. Make now

Who?


You, your white friends, and that one token Asian friend who really isn't token or Asian because he's so whitewashed the KKK would take him (or her) in as one of their own.

How?


  1. Pork + knife = THIN pork slices
  2. Gochujang + hot and tasty nice flavour pepper flakes + container = Marinade! 
  3. THIN pork slices + container + stir = Mari nade a little pork, little pork..., little pork...... 
  4. Container + fridge + 2 days = Merrynade!
  5. Butter + pan + medium high heat = Hot butter
  6. CAUTION: HOT FLYING OIL IS HOT
  7. Merry pork + pan + charred on both sides = Doneso! 
Serve with lettuce, rice, bread, whatever. I don't care. Just enjoy it. 





Pretty easy eh?

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